I am scared
by Last-Summoner
Summary: Slash, 6/5, 5/2, maybe 9/5 in future chapters. Sometimes changes are just too sudden to stand. Sometimes reality itself is too terrifying to bear. Sometimes understandings are too fearful to reveal. No matter who or what you are.
1. Frightener

**A/N: **Okay, this is some 9 slash. I think it won't be really long, but it'll have some chapters ahead. Please, R&R, cause I was writing it after watching the horribly dubbed film, so I'm not sure if 5&company are IC. Thank u!)

- I am scared, - murmurs 6. He was sitting on the ground, knees tucked to his chest, and rocking slightly - instinctive wish to lull the fears away, - We are scared. We all scared. We all scared...

- It's okay, 6, - murmurs 5 in turn, kneeing besides. His cold metallic fingers lay on 6 trembling shoulders, and 6 nearly jumps away, - it's all right. We're save here.

- We are not safe. Nothing's save! Nothing's... No-nothing's okay... We _must _save, but _we are never_ safe... - 6's voice dies to hisses and whispers. 5 extends his hands to 6, and 6 stretches out to him like a wave, limp under the torning wind. 5 wraps his arms around stripped, weakly trembling shoulders, and 6 attracts himself to the other ragdoll desperately, as if obsessed and afraid and jealous at the same time. 5 sighs. He is facing the wall covered up with horrors of 6's imagination. Black ink, yellowish sandpaper. Black fear, yellowish faded life.

He can't help but shudder when 6 pets his chest gently.

- I can hear you ticking. Tick-tock. Tick-tock, - 6 taps on 5's upper button rhythmically, a second heartbeat - you're still ticking. Good. He'll hear you ticking so loud out here and come.

- Are you talking about the monster? - even knowing that 6 is just crazy and paranoid, 5 can almost feel fear bulging inside of him like a bubble full of poison. Too sincere in his feelings, too caring about himself, 5 doesn't even try to hold it back, and is ready to drown in his fears.

- About e-e-everybody, - hisses 6. 5's hands weaken on his shoulders and nearly fell from them, but 6 catches them up and places back on his body.

- We are all scared, - he says in 5's face. 5 shooks his head, as if waking from a daydream, or dismissing undesirable thoughts out of his mind. He holds 6 tighter, and 6 gratefully leans to him, petting his back with number 5 painted on it and murmuring gently, mouth brushing against 5's sackcloth cheek:

- Tick-tock, tick-tock, 5 equals tick-tock...

---

- Of course he's scared, - says 2, wisely and kindly, like he says everything; 5 wishes to give himself fully to 2's wisdom, and so he does - we are all scared of something - it's a part of our _humanity, _of our soul. Only machines and monsters are fearless, because they have nothing in here.

2 covers 5's chest with his rusty hand. 5's shoulders twitch.

- You can't be scared, - he says, as if defending.

- Of course I am scared. But I've conquered that fear, with my mind, - 2 knocks on his lamp hat. 5 looks at him interrogatively. 2 laughs - a cracking, hoarse laughter of a wise, experienced man, and places his hand on 5's shoulder.

- You'll understand. You'll conquer it.

And 5 believes him just because 2 said so.

---

Rustling, murmuring, like a sea waves upon the sand, 6 draws. Today it won't be the artifact - today it will be something special. He finishes, brushes his face with hands painted black, and smiles satisfactorily. Then takes his paper and rushes towards the tower.

5 is alone now, sitting near the telescope and watching the town. In the evening light he seems painted in yellow and purple. 6 cocks his head, watching - he doesn't have many colors to draw, only black exactly. But he wishes he had some colorful ink or something. To draw colorful things.

- Things are colorful today, - he says, and 5 turns to him.

- Well, they are, why not? - 5 gives 6 a smile and leaves his telescope, - you got another picture of that round thing?

- No. This one's for you, - 6 holds a paper towards him, smiling almost justifyingly.

As 5 looks at it, he sees some blurry black figures that look more like scruffy blobs of ink. Under the picture is written: 2 + 5 - 6 = 1.

- Does this mean anything? - 5 questions, clueless.

- This is you. Both of you. Someone has to be alone. Sorry, I have no colors accept black.

Starring carefully, 5 at last notices that blobs are forming two figures that are staying impossibly close to each other. Their hands are joined in embrace, and beneath the chests their bodies are united. One figure has a long, clumsy slash crossing one side of its head. Somehow picture looks terrifying and intimate at the same time.

- And this numbers? Do they mean us? You, me and 2?

6 rubs his hands, looking a little puzzled and scared.

- And this one. Does it mean our leader, 1? - 5 taps number 1 in the end of the writing.

- No. No, no. It means alone. Someone has to be alone. No leader.

5 shrugs, bends the picture in half and puts it with his other papers.

- Okay, mmm. Thanks then, 6. I'd better be going - 2 said I can go in the town with him today. We better hurry, or 1 will be mad.

Suddenly changed, 6 pulls long face in a rush of fear, his mouth shudders.

- No, no, no! - 6 jumps towards 5, grabs hold of his hands and shakes him, - you must stay here today! Only today! Don't go anywhere!

5's surprised, his eyebrow jumps up.

- Why?

- It's... It's dangerous! Something terrible awaits you there! Don't go, please! I know! - 6's so intense in his sudden fear, his eyes widened into two artificial dark pieces of emptiness, his hands shaking, metallic fingers clicking against each other, - if you go there I'll never see you again!

Too surprised, too helpless under the uncontrollable wave of 6's despair, 5 nods. He can nearly hear his neck metallic plates cracking in the tense air, sliding along each other.

- Okay, 6. Calm down, I won't go, - as he vocalizes his "yes" to whatever 6 wanted from him, he feels a little relieved. He'd always hated breaking the rules.

6's black and white face brightens with a smile of relief.

- Uh-huh, yes! Yes, thank you! Another one to go and disappear will be just too much, - 6 clenches 5's hands in a tight grip. 5 returns the smile, and 6 leans to him to place his mouth to the corner of 5's mouth slot. Complicated heart mechanism inside of 5's chest doesn't even tick a single time before _the kiss _is over, and 6 withdraws. Like a shadow, he escapes the tower, silent and unnoticed, leaving puzzled and embarrassed 5 rubbing his cheek. There's drops of black ink left in the corner of his mouth, were the two had just touched.


	2. Promiser

_**A/N: This chapter is smaller. Later I'll be able to talk with my beta so believe me, every mistake we'll find will be corrected. Thanks for reviews!))**___

- 2, mm, can I ask you? - 5 says quietly, clenching his fingers, stepping unsurely towards his benefactor.

2 is shifting through his little garbage treasures, his cogs, wires, strange unrecognizable details of dead mechanisms. He turns to look at 5, gives him a smile.

- Of course.

- Please, don't go into the ruins today.

2's brows jumps up.

- Why not? I thought you wanted to go with me. Help me looking.

- 6 told me not to go. He was in panic, he was so scared. He said that something terrible awaits us there, - 5 waves his hands, as if trying to express the intensity, the importance of 6's words. 2 shooks his head, leaves his treasures and walks to 5. Placing a hand on 5's shoulder, he makes his apprentice look him in the eyes.

- Something terrible always awaits us, and not only there. It awaits us everywhere we go. But also there's something wonderful that awaits us - power, potential, hope. I can't miss them, I can't stay here and just wait. I must go.

- But 6 told me... What if the Beast...

- There's no "what if", 5! There's only future. It waits for us.

5 feels desperate, feels weak and meaningless, unable to stop his teacher. His shoulders sag, his head drops down, breaking the eye contact.

2's pets his shoulder, touches his chin, making him raise his head again.

- Stay here if you want. And do not worry. It's alright.

2 returns to his belongings. 5 rubs his face tiredly and sits on the floor.

He remembers his last argument with 1. It was about 2. 1 had found out about their sallies to the ruins and got really mad.

- Weakling! - He yelled at 2, knocking the floor with his rod, - irresponsible weakling! Didn't the war teach you about the danger? The death?!

With one quick, powerful movement he grabbed 5 by the head and threw him at 2's feet.

- Didn't he teach you?! Or his lost eye isn't enough for you anymore?!

5 looked up at his benefactor, humiliated. 2's mouth trembled, his eyes, cold metallic goggles, were full of sorrow.

- Of course you didn't think of him. You didn't think of us. Only about yourself and your useless mechanisms, - hissed 1.

2 helped 5 to stand up from the floor. 5 shook his head desperately, silently saying with his lips only: "No! You're not like that! You just can't be!" 2 embraced him, starring at 1 over his shoulder.

- Take them away to their tower, - ordered 1, and 8 roughly pushed both of the dolls forward, as if they couldn't walk by themselves.

Later, at the watchtower, 2 held 5 with his slightly trembling arms, and whispered into his dirty sackcloth shoulder:

- I'll never endanger you. I'll never allow anything to happen to you, as long as I live. I promise.

As 5 remembers that incident, it's consequences, 2's trembling embrace, for a terrifying second he thinks that now _he should have_ protect 2 from the danger, _he should have_ never allow anything to happen to 2. For a terrifying second he thinks, that he failed, he ruined everything. Did 2 an ill turn.

- 2, please, - he pleads quietly, and 2 turns to him again.

- I must go, 5. You understand me, don't you?

- Of course I do, - 5 whispers, burying his face in his rusty palms. He hears rustling and clicking of the metallic feet on the floor, and then feels 2's hands on his face.

- Nothing's going to happen to me. I'll be back soon, and we'll finish our work, - he smiles at 5 kindly.

- 2... - says 5. He moves closer to him, embraces his shoulders. Then, slightly cocking his head, 5 leans to his face, but knocks on 2's goggles with his own remaining one and stops. That attempt draws a quiet laughter from 2, but, unexpectedly, he doesn't move and inch away. 5 takes another try that becomes more successful - he touches 2's mouth with his own. _Kisses him._ He tries his best to memorize everything he felt, every bit of the touch, the sudden, wishful intimacy; for he feels that he doesn't possess power to protect his teacher, stop him from walking into his faith's arms. Then it's over. 5 moves away. His goggle again knocks slightly against 2's with a silent 'click'.

- Please, be careful, - he says, feeling foolish, weakened, embarrassed. 2's expression is strange, almost unreadable, but he smiles and touches the patch on 5's face gently.

- Don't worry about me. I'll come back.

And 5 believes him just because 2 says so.


	3. Changer

Of course, he never comes back. Breaks his promise and never comes back. Somehow, on some deep, instinct level, 5 felt that he'll never be back, but he preferred not to think about it.

5 sits at his telescope and watches, carefully, without blinking, as the dead town sleeps. No sight of life, no movements, except dirty yellow papers circling on the ground under the wind. 5 immediately thinks of 6, reminds himself to bring him some new papers to draw on as soon as they'll go into ruins again.

They. He thinks of 2, of the Beast, of the telescope they were making so long. And he feels restless and lost, and afraid of 2's impending faith.

But there it is, sudden revelation that stops all of 5's thoughts, all time itself. Through the dirty looking glass he sees a ragdoll he'd never seen before. It stumbles and falls in the road dust, and there's a number on his back, not faded or covered with a layer of war stigmas. 5 doesn't have to look at it to recognize the number - it's Him, their promised messiah. 9.

As 5 runs down from the tower, careless about everything except the doll lying in the town ruins, he stumbles into 6. 6 stops him unsurely, lifting his hands in a gesture of unarmed soldier. 5 stands in front of the painter, and 6 suddenly embraces him, firmly and a little desperately.

- I'm so glad you're alive, - 6 says, - thank you.

5's touched, and he embraces 6 in answer, unwillingly forgetting about 9, 2, salvation, the Beast - everything. But the moment is gone too quickly, 5 carefully withdraws, putting 6's hands off his shoulders. 6 looks lost as he watches the other doll leaving.

- Where are you going? - he asks quietly, even though it's obvious that 5 can't hear him.

Clicking of 5's feet on the cathedral floor echoes threateningly, and 6 covers his head were his ears could possibly be.

---

- We must save 2! He's still alive! - demands 9, waving his hands, clenching his fists. It's almost unbelievable that he awoke on 5's improvised surgeon table with the same fear 5 had lived most of his life.

And now all 5 can do is drowning in his fears, as usual, embracing the telescope as he used to embrace 2. All 5 can do is doing what he had been told.

- Let's go and find him! - 9 grabs his arm, pulls him in a rush of something similar to desperation, but 5 shields away and stays immovable.

9 looks at him like at something broken.

- Then I'll save him alone, - he says, as if claiming 5's inner defect.

And suddenly 5 remembers one thing about 2, another thing that changed his life.

It was still the time he asked 2 questions. He was interested not in mechanical side of the world only, but in philosophy side as well, the one with rhetorical questions about soul, life and death.

It happened when he and 2 had just found a dusty splinter of mirror. 5 looked at himself, curious, touched the mirror's reflection of his sackcloth body. Then he slowly undid his buttons, strangely shy under 2's gaze, and threw open his sackcloth chest. Inside him, there was a skeleton of wires and springs, some of them rusty, some - still shiny from constant friction. Tucked under his neck, in the centre or wire mass, there was a complicated construction of cogs, springs, boxes, bolts and other strange little details. It was ticking.

- Is this... Is this _my heart?_ - 5 asked, almost terrified, suddenly scared of himself, - am I _a machine? _

2 stepped towards him, leaned closer to take a look at 5's insides. Lifting his arm, 2 carefully touched the centre cog of 5's mechanism, it clicked and skipped one heartbeat, and 5 couldn't help it but exhale sharply, overfilled with tight feeling that 2's touch sent.

2 looked at him, worried by his sudden expression, but 5 nodded silently, and his benefactor continued his examination.

- You're not a machine, - he said in quiet, steady voice, - of course not.

- Then what is _this? _- asked 5, clueless.

- It's your inner construction that makes you move, - 2 petted his shoulder encouragingly, - I have one inside of me as well. It's a receptacle of _our soul._

2 did 5's buttons, palmed and stroke the rough fabric of his apprentice's body. Cog skipped another heartbeat. 5 involuntary clenched his fingers.

- My _soul _is in this _mechanism?_ - He asked.

Question made 2 laugh smoothly.

- Well, it's not exactly like that. This is what moves our bodies, make them alive. If it's damaged, we'll _die. Our soul _can't live without a body.

- Damaged... - 5 touched his chest carefully. That was the moment when fear crept through him with weak shivers for the first time. Later will be the battle, their exodus when he'd lost his eye, and his fear would fill him like resin and stalk him all his remaining life. But then - back then was the moment he first thought of how fragile all of them really are, and how easily their bodies and souls can be separated.

2 laughed at his frightened expression, petted his shoulder again and said:

- Don't worry so much. Just be careful. And nothing will happen to you.

That time 5 believed him.

As 5 revives this memory he touches his patch where his eye used to be. 2 promised that he won't allow anything to happen to 5, and he did his best to keep the promise. 5 owes him.

- Wait! - He says in 9's numbered back.

9 glances at him with hope, with gladness, with a reassuring smile, and 5 feels _repaired._

---

- You're leaving again? - It doesn't sound like a question as 6 speaks it with his whispering voice.

- Yes, 6. We have to rescue 2, - 5 glares at him sitting on the floor and drawing another picture of the round artifact. 6 leaves the paper with half-done painting and moves to another ragdoll to embrace his legs hesitatingly.

- He has to go back, - murmurs 6, - He'll go back, He'll save… somebody. Probably not us. Before He goes back we all will be taken.

5 lowers himself down to hear 6's fading voice. 6 leans towards him, captures his head, palming his face, looks him in the remaining eye.

- I'm scared, - the painter says.

- 6, I really have to go. Don't worry; everything will be alright – 5 finds himself sounding like 2, the same words, the same intonation, like talking to a frightened, beloved child. This revelation makes him feel empty and sorrowful. 6 frowns with pity, noticing 5's expression, presses his fingers to inventor's mouth. 5 forces himself to smile.

- Don't go outside, okay? Wait for me, - 5 takes 6's hand, kisses the palm. 6's mouth twitches.

- I'll wait.

5 stands up, waves goodbye to 6. 9's waiting for him outside, He is waiting. Not wishing to make Him wait any longer, 5 leaves. 6 slowly lifts his kissed hand towards his face, presses his mouth to the palm where 5 had pressed his. Then he presses the hand to his chest, right at the spot where ticking of his _heart mechanism _can be felt, like something precious, like the most vulnerable thing he got. The sudden gust of wind from the broken window blows his painting away, but he doesn't even notice.

* * *

_**A/N: I've finally finished it! Hope this one is good, it was suddenly hard for me to write this chapter.**_

_**In next chapter there at last will be 9/5, and I'll even do (or at least try to) an erotic scene*_* Hehe)  
**_


	4. Redeemer

_**A/n: Well, this chapter took me really long to write because of the lessons I got at university=_= I think it's not the best I could do, but it was unexpectedly hard to write, so I have no strength to re-do it.**_

_**Because of my low speed I couldn't publish it sooner, and I noticed that someone had already done the NC-17 scene similar to what I have here. Well, I was thinking about this idea long ago, so please, I mean no plagiarism. I can only hope I've done it not much worse. Anyway, it may seem a little strange and meaningless, but I hope I can fix my mistakes in future chapters.**_

_**Thank for reading^_^ Hope you enjoy it!  
**_

* * *

"Why it happened to them?" - asked 5 once, when he and 2 were walking hand by hand across the city, "Did humans really deserve such a horrible fate?"

They walked through the never ending battle field, ruins of progress and happiness. Bodies, liked grotesque statues, were lying with their arms spread as if they were laughing, were sitting in their cars, were sitting on the ground near the walls, with frightened and surprised expressions on their eyeless faces. Kingdom of death.

"I don't know why it happened", - shrugged 2, his voice empty, "but they didn't deserve it. No one deserves a fate like that".

5 shivered at the gust of wind, even though he couldn't actually feel it. The wind shifted through the street like a curious child, blew in the eye pits of grotesque statues scattered everywhere. 5 involuntary moved closer to 2, leaned to him as if trying to hide behind his back. 2 touched his shoulder and pointed at the nearest house.

"Look!"

They walked to the broken window; under it was laying an object that probably did that breaking - an old, dusty book. 5 helped his teacher to lift and open it.

"Ahh, another poetry book", - said 2, turning the yellowish pages.

"Poetry?"

"Yes... Well, I just don't seem to understand all those love metaphors", - laughed 2, "leave this book, it's useless for us".

5 looked at the calligraphic letters printed on the pages, at simple illustrations to it. He didn't even try to read - he only starred at that remainings of human glory, of human _soul._

"We have a lot in common with humans", - suddenly said 2, gently touching the page, the words of someone's feelings on it, "I've read their books, saw their art".

2's shoulders sag, his back bent, as if he carried an immeasurable weight, and he suddenly started to look so impossibly old and tired, and worn-out by life.

"We have their fears, their desires, their _feelings. _We can love, we can hate. We are defenseless under the certain circumstances that are just more powerful then our weakened bodies".

"You want to say that we'll have the same fate?" - said 5, as quietly as he could, an uncertain whisper, as if hoping that 2 won't hear him at all.

"There are things that we can't control, can't interpolate... Unknown - alive's most horrible fear...", - 2 turned away from the book. 5 sought his glance, his eyes to look into, but his benefactor didn't lift his head, "We can only hope that fate of humanity will never affect us. We can only hope to never loose something we love and value. And try not to... The best we can".

5 hesitatingly stepped closer, stretched out his arms to his teacher. 2 finally looked at him, and 5 embraced him, receiving his silent agree.

"I love you, 2", - 5 said quickly, and closed his hands firmer around 2's body, as if afraid of his own words, "Don't leave me".

"I won't, my dear friend", - smiled the inventor, "I won't".

Too many promises were broken. Too many vows were given in this kingdom of death in a rush of primary fear. 5 feels being left behind, feels lonely.

"Are you okay?" - asks 9, touching his shoulder. 5 blinks, and the mental image of him confessing to his benefactor is gone.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine".

"Then let's go! The Beast won't wait", - 9 pulls him by the hand, and 5 obeys silently. They walk through the kingdom of fate, surrounded by grotesque statues with empty eye pits and frightened expressions on their faces, and 5 is afraid to look and find his similarity with them.

---

Everything happens so quickly. Unbelievably quickly and easily for events like that.

First second - he sees 2's unconscious body in a shiny cage, it seems like some metaphor from an old poetry book. The ones 2 himself had never understood.

"2! No, no, please!" - 5 shouts in despair, running towards his teacher. When he puts his hand on 2's shoulder and feels no movement, no life inside of the sackcloth, he feels dead too.

But then, seconds later - as if a lightning strikes his fingers - 2's hand covers his. 5 smiles, embraces 2 through the cage's rods, but 2 shushes him quiet and points at the Beast.

Seconds later, like a blinding flash of fear, the Beast appears and disappears, its cat skull lying lifeless on the ground. And 5 gains his precious moments of happiness, of calmness and love, and he allows himself a forbidden thought - that everything would be alright now, everything would be right.

It ends as quickly as begins. How many heartbeats past until 2 is dead? One, two, ten? It seems too soon to 5 anyways. With a light movement of hands their Messiah kills 5's most vulnerable person. 2's body is spread out under the artifact, like a martyr on his cross, and in next second - he's just a piece of cloth stuffed with wires, lying on the ground.

Later, much later, more then thousand heartbeats past, 2's death belatedly struck 5.

---

"5", - says 9, sitting besides his comrade, "are you okay?"

Of course 5 isn't okay, and 9 sees it clearly. He buries face in his hands, hiding from everything, from the life itself, and sits, immovable and silent.

"I just can't believe it, I can't..." - 5 tries to explain his feelings, but fails and only sighs. Everything seemed wrong, seemed meaningless without 2.

So he says: "I couldn't even imagine a world without 2... What I'm going to do? What I have to do _now_?" - 5 raises his head towards 9, seeking something from him. 9 looks at him pitifully and questioningly, and then places a hand on 5's shoulder.

"If... If only there's something I can do... for you, just say and I...", - 9's voice is cracked with guilt.

"No, no... It's not your fault...", - 5 doesn't sound reassuring, but he really means it. 2 had been waiting for 9 to come and save everything that is still left. Like messiah, like the chosen, the blessed one. Like a God. 5 can't blame him, can't stand against his will, just because it's something 2 will never do. He'd never blame the Messiah, he'd do everything for his sake, even die for him without hesitation.

That's what he did. At this thought 5 lets out an involuntary moan of despair. 9 hesitatingly moves closer to embrace the mechanic. 5 doesn't protest, weak-willed, boneless, he tucks his face into 9's neck. 9's fingers gently stroke his shoulder, and 5 feels so empty and soulless, like a dead machine.

---

"Life must go on".

5 can't remember where he had heard this phrase. But it chased him every time he walked down the empty dead streets. No life to go on. Still, it must continue. Strange, he has always thought.

Now, somehow, he feels that he understands. Sitting near the fire at the middle of the night in this town of dead, without 2, he finds himself thinking about it with unexpected philosophy and desperate humility. Apathy seized him, ate him out from the inside. Life must go on, and, oh, it will. But meaningless.

"5", - says 9, appearing from behind and lowering himself down besides the other. 5 turns to him, gives him a look that 9 wishes, and turns away again. 9's hand covers his, suddenly, 5 almost shudders. 9 immediately withdraws, feeling his twitch, but 5 stops him, not willing to offend someone so special.

"It's okay", - he says. 9 puts his hand back on 5's palm, 5 squeezes it. So shiny and smooth, no rust, no scratches - as if 9 had come from some other, better world.

"We'll redeem everything", - says 9 quietly, "I promise, I'll make things right". At this words, on the spur of the moment, he clings to 5, holds him, and 5 answers, wrapping his arms around 9's sackcloth shoulders. He abruptly thinks that he had never touched 2 so often.

9 moves away a little, tries to focus his optics on 5's, but the distance is too short. With a quiet buzzing sound his eyes close. He clenches his fingers firmly on 5's shoulders and _kisses _him on the mouth. 5 silently allows him this gesture, stunned with a strange mix of feelings blooming in his chest.

"I'm sorry", - says 9 after drawing away, probably meaning something more then a sudden manifestation of feelings. 5 thoughtlessly rubs his mouth.

"It's alright".

Later at that night, when 9 asks his permission to hold him, 5 agrees, and they sit together till the dawn, their bodies entwined. 5 can't help but shiver as he stares into the night's darkness, involuntary moving even closer to 9, and they both know (somehow, deep in their minds, more on some instinct level) that the fear is the cause of everything.

---

On the other night, they are still walking back. The town stretches out in front of them, behind them, surrounding the little rag dolls like a giant beast, and it seem to be infinite and absolute, or simply just too big for such small creatures.

On the other night, everything changes.

"5?" - 9 moves towards him, carefully. 5 looks at him, almost involuntary moves forward to the Messiah, as if some power had pushed him.

Their usual fire stretches to the sky, 9 stretches to 5, _kisses _his patched cheek. For a second the only 5's thought is sudden wondering, how 9 knew of _kisses_. The next one is – if he refuses it won't do him any good.

"Can I _touch you?_"- asks 9. His hand reaches out to 5's shoulder, unsurely and slowly, ready to retreat. 5 looks at him, and he doesn't know what to do, how to react.

"Yes", - he answers quietly. 9 leans to 5, embraces him with one hand and places his other hand on mechanic's chest.

"_Inside",_ - says 9, hoarse whisper into 5's neck. 5 closes his eyes, clenches his fingers on 9's shoulders, his hands tense and his body shivering. This time 9 doesn't wait for the answer; he smoothly pushes 5 forward, making him lay on the ground. For a couple of seconds 5 sees the sky, bright blinking stars and lazily drifting clouds. Then the sky's calmness is covered by 9's head, and a moment later his mouth is covered by 9's. His fabric - still new, still smooth, unnoticed, untouched by time, war, death, pain - moves against 5's, and 5 feels like he must stop him, must stop himself, but all he does is lying still under 9's body and accepting his caresses like dead body accepts dissecting. 9 lowers himself down, never taking his _mouth _of 5's body, _kisses_ his chin, neck, shoulders, his fingers dig into 5's back. 5 through his head back, exhales intensively and loud, 9's hand lifts him slightly, making him arch his back towards the touches.

Eyes still shut tightly, 5 can only feel what 9 is doing with him - undoing his buttons, upper one, then the lower one, carefully, trying to make no spare movement or sound. Even through 5 knew what was going to happen, he sharply breathes out, half-moaning, when 9 touches his _inner mechanism, _his _heart. _Lit by the fire, 9's optics glow at 5, almost threateningly, as 9's finger taps on the centre cogwheel. 5 lets out a gasp.

Wind is rustling around them, blowing the fire down. It suddenly becomes dark, and 5 can't see the other's face any more, can't watch his actions, but he thinks that it's even better this way. 9's fingers tangle softly through his vessel wires tucked behind his _heart, _caress the contacts, and sensations, felt more like electric and mechanical impulses, overfill, overburden 5. He moans someone's name, 9 twitches lightly, his hand stops it's movements inside 5's chest, but only for a brief second.

"5", - whispers 9. His head moves closer to 5's, seeking his glance and a touch of mouths. 5 can see stars - blurred light dots - reflecting in his optics.

9's finger trails down the back of 5's heart box, lightly, gently scratching it, and 5 can't help but gasp and moan as vibrations of the touch pierce him.

"5, _touch me_", - asks 9 unsurely and quietly. 5 looks at him, pleasure mixed with shame and embarrassment in his glance, he's stunned again, he doesn't know how to act. And again, 9 does everything by himself - he moves his zipper down, opening his chest, takes 5's weak-willed hand and puts it inside of himself.

"Do you feel it? _My heart?_" - 9 almost gasps too, suddenly out of breath. 5 feels something moving, ticking under his fingers, and then, as his fingers touch the row, defenseless wires upon uncovered mechanism, 9's electricity go through his body. It mixes with his own, it fills him completely, running down his wires. 5 feels something similar to euphoria.

"You can stop it with a simple movement", - 9 says, "You _hold my heart, 5_".

Every contact in 5's body seem to be on fire, his mechanisms invaded, disturbed by 9's touches, his wires melting with their joined voltage. He wants to cry out, to shout, but finds no power to do it and just groans, arching towards the other rag doll. Then 5 feels 9 pulling his hand deeper into his chest, towards something that seems to be 9's centre gear. 9 makes 5 cover it with his hand and stop its ticking.

"_You hold my life"._

At that moment 5 feels that he can't stand it anymore - too much of a row emotion, too strong sensations born inside of him, jolting through him, melting him from the inside. Something inside of 5 clicks, deep within his inner mechanism a blue electric spark flashes between 9's fingers, freeing 5's tension. 5 moans at this wave of physical pleasure, he feels so strangely, impossibly good, and in next second - empty and weary. He feels 9 leaning closer to him, feels his body trembling, and then - hot electricity sparkling between 5's fingers, 9's overcoming pleasure.

They both fall silent. 9 tucks to 5 weakly, and 5 accepts him into embrace. They lie, calming their systems down, and the sky is gazing at them with millions of stars.

9 moves closer to the other rag doll's face, stares into his remaining eye. His mouth twitches, as if he wants to speak, but he doesn't say a word. Instead, he _kisses _5's patched side, then his mouth, and withdraws.

As 5 falls into condition similar to human sleep he sees 9, his and 2's messiah, sitting on the ground with his improvised lantern. His head is dropped to the side as he watches something at the horizon line. 5 finds himself waiting for 9 to look at him, to move closer, to touch him again, even through everything is over, but 9 doesn't move and sits still like a grotesque statue, and 5 falls asleep, awaiting.


	5. Rainer

The rain had come over the nameless dead town. Poking the ground with its dark slim fingers, helping rust grow on the past of humanity. 5 was the first to feel it - a huge drop of water crushed his shoulder, making him stumble. 9 took him by the hand and pulled him towards some kind of metal circle that was bulging from the dirt and created something like a roof, and a small dry space under it. 5 was breathing heavily, his mechanisms clicking and quivering inside of him. 9's details were new, shiny and smooth, with no sight of time and life on them, so they were silent. 5 suddenly felt so old.

"Hope the rain will end soon" - he says, just to say something and don't hear himself ticking so loud. He feels embarrassed about it, as if it's something indecent.

9 shrugs - of course, he didn't know of these things yet, these little habits of their world. 5 looks at him and thinks that he's four orders older then 9, and that simple arithmetic makes him uncomfortable. Abruptly, he thinks that 2 could've felt that way.

"Sometimes I wonder", - suddenly speaks 9, "how I know all this things. I mean, like about making a lantern, about the artifact. Even how to walk or talk or doing other things... How did you learn about them, 5?" - 9 turns his head towards his comrade. This is time for 5 to shrug.

"I... Just know, I guess. All those basics. And 2 taught me everything else", - at the name of 5's dead benefactor 9's shoulders sag and he turns away, and 5 immediately regrets speaking about 2.

"9, um..." - 5 rubs his head, sighs, unable to find proper words. 9 heavily lowers himself on the ground, sits still, resting his hands on the sackcloth knees. The rain is merciless and restless, both of the dolls can feel drops hitting the ground, can feel air ringing at the water rushing through it - it send vibrations, like weak shivers, through their metal skeletons.

"Did... Did you ever think about the source? Like, I mean - where we've come from, what is our aim, why we exist", - 9 waves his hands, pointing somewhere in the rain.

"2...", - hesitatingly says 5, carefully watching 9, "2 thought of this things a lot. He liked to talk about them. But in the end he has always said that you will come and give us answers".

9 only shooks his head silently. That silence, torn apart by the rain, seems somehow awkward. 5 thinks that 9 is speaking all those things just not to hear this silence, just to distract both of them from something, like 5 himself had already done. The mechanist reaches his hand to 9, wanting to touch him, and slowly puts it on 9's shoulder.

"I just don't know, 5" - sighs 9 desperately, as if at last deciding to give up, "I don't know how to redeem everything. How to make things right. How to help you" - he looks up at mechanist. "I don't know if what I'm doing is good enough for you. Good at all".

Suddenly 5 understands everything, or at least thinks so. "You mean what we've done...".

"I wanted to comfort you, it's all... It's all my fault, 5. I wanted to expiate my guilt, but I didn't know how and...", - 9's head drops down, as if somebody had turned him off. He sits still, and 5 already starts to worry when 9 says quietly - "There's so little I can do to apologize".

5's hand involuntary clenches on his shoulder, digging through the sackcloth towards the fragile metal construction. 9 raises his head on 5, and in his look there's something 5 can't describe with words, something he himself had never possessed. 2 had given him that look once or twice, and after that 5 always felt even more attracted and obliged to him than usual.

5 wants to tell him something consoling-like, but everything that comes to his mind is a usual "It's okay".

"It's okay, 9" - says 5, 9's shoulder twitches, he reaches out towards the older one - older by order, by spirit, by everything. 9 brushes his mouth over 5's, slightly and questioningly, 5 suddenly nods, absolutely out of place, making 9 move away.

"I don't know how I knew of this, too", - says 9, probably meaning to distract from the awkwardness of the whole situation, "as if... from the past I had forgotten". He blinks, his mouth tightens, as if he regrets saying something silly. He waves his hand in a "never mind" gesture and sits back on the ground.

5 feels stupidly guilty, even for feeling guilty itself, lowers himself down to 9 and hesitatingly embraces his shoulders. They sit still, watching the rain. 5's hands, like hands of a shadow, of a bodiless spirit, obeying and silent, are barely felt on 9's body.

"5...", - begins 9, turning towards the other doll. 5 looks at him, his gaze unreadable, yet perfectly understanding, and starts to unbutton himself. As the first button gets undone and hangs loose, opening a corner of a heart mechanism, 9 watches, fascinated, amazed and stun, like if seeing something so vulnerable he had never seen before, something endlessly endear. In the depths of his expressionless black pupils sparks something similar to nearly erotic desire.

The rain doesn't stop for next three or four hours, covering the world like a thin, yet solid shroud.

_**A/N: I feel like I have to end this, so it won't be more then two more chapters. And they seem to become shorter and shorter*_* Anyway, hope you're enjoying it. Thanks for stopping by for reading me! .)**_


	6. Ender

The fires are furious and merciless, destroying Sanctuary's walls. All that the dolls can do is just stare as the flames go higher and higher, burning the sky itself. 5 watches it, terrified, sad, guilty, and doesn't know what they are going to do now. Even 1, their powerful leader, is just as hopeless, his pupils widening as he watches the fires. 9 looks lost, his determination gone, and the lack of action and decisions stuns him. He had just experienced too much horror, to much despair.

As if obeying the silent command, they all start to move away at once.

Only the insane painter 6 doesn't carry the same mood. He jumps for the burning pieces, trying to catch them, and seems not to pay any attention to the tragedy everyone else's suffering. 5 has to take 6 by the hand and pull him forward, distracting him from the smouldering ashes that fell like snow from the sky. 6 stops smiling immediately and clenches 5's hand, more feeling than seeing that something went wrong.

Sanctuary burns and collapses under its own weight like a house of cards. Ashes fills the air like thousands fire bugs, like thousands little deaths. 6 keeps starring at them even when he's been pulled away from the ember, ashes and coal that was once their "home", their "safe place". The whole picture seems to be frighteningly entertaining.

"Let's go, 6, come on... Everything gonna be alright", - murmurs 5, more as if bracing himself, and his hand tightens it's grip on 6's. Mechanist looks at 9 that walks in front of them, throws an expressive, but helpless look at his back. 9 slows down to turn at 5 and look in his face, and only sighs, unable to find proper answer on the silent question in his eyes.

Though none of the dolls can actually feel with their sackcloth bodies stuffed with metal and plastic, every one of them feels the threatening warmth of fire still eating the remains of Sanctuary, the hot gust coming from that funeral pyre. 5 isn't sure what they are loosing, what has ended there. Faint feeling of safety? Humanity they wanted to imitate? Society under tyranny of imperious rules? What 5 knows for sure is that the old building isn't the only thing to die in flames. In that flames ends something that isn't even material. And all that remains is unknown. "Unknown, alive's most horrible fear".

5 painfully wants 2 to be near now, to put a hand on his shoulder and give him consoling, endearing smile. But there's only silent, happy for no reason 6 that is gazing around and laughing quietly, as if at last free from some burden.

Desperate in his thoughts, 5 sighs heavily, drawing 6's attention. The painter makes a sad face, copying 5's expression, and then touches his shoulder lightly, asking to stop.

"Look, I have something for you", - he whispers, enjoying the secrecy of the moment. 6 cautiously looks around, then moves so close to 5 their foreheads touch and stretches his clenched hands towards the mechanist. 6 lets out a quiet excited laugh and, carefully watching 5 from corner of the eye, he opens his palms.

In his hands lies a small smouldering piece of paper with faint ink blobs on it.

The painter exclaims, as if he sees it for the first time himself, and his gasp make the dying fire burn again and destroy poor remains of paper. Tiny flame flickers and disappears, leaving behind only ashes. 5 gives 6 a puzzled look while the painter leans heavily against his head, blowing the ash away.

"6... Mm, thanks", - says 5, smiling a little embarrassing.

"You didn't understand, did you", - pouts 6, but immediately smiles again, "you're too straight. Too... I don't know... you like your habits too much. You're too common".

"Sorry", - 5 answers with an apologizing smile, "Sometimes I can't get your symbolism". 6 looks at him with such light, childish expression, so inappropriate for this place and this moment, that 5 can't help but embrace the painter and press him as close as he can. He feels 6's gears quickening their pace, making his body shudder almost unnoticeably, and then painter returns the embrace. Leaning to 5's cheek with his mouth, 6 whispers so quietly 5 can only read his lips: "Let it go, 5. Just... Sometimes you have to... Let it end", - says 6, and 5 doesn't know, is that sudden wisdom or his usual daydreaming and deliriums. He only buries his face in painter's soft shoulder that smells like old books and smoke and listens to his gears, and 6 listens to his in turn.

5 finds himself smiling secretly into the others shoulder, smiling with shameful relief, as if 6 had freed him from a burden he carried long ago and made him understand everything. "Did I tell you just how much I love you?" - says 5, and 6 straightens in his arms, embracing him tighter. "You did". He can feel 6 smiling even wider against his face.

Later, 9 comes to 5 to put his hand on mechanist's shoulder, pet it and ask: "Are you okay?". 5 only nods, glad to give an honest, simple answer: "Yes", and 9 nods too, squeezing his sackcloth shoulder and giving him a smile.

And 5 thinks that soon, very soon, everything bad will end and everything gonna be just fine.

_**A/N: **__**Well, this isn't the best chapter in the story... I had really hard times at university and then suffered the lack of ideas. But still, hope to see your reviews! .)**_


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